Amanda Peet Rules

yup, she’s hot.

Giraffes Rule!

They are tall, they have spots, they have funny little ears and they could stomp the hell out of you with out even realizing it as they stand at average 18 feet.  Giraffes can also run 25-35mph, so that after they accidentally stomp you while chewing leaves on top of trees they can take off like a bat out of hell leaving you all alone, crumpled and bloody under its very own giving tree. Ah, the gentle giraffe. 

I heard a joke with a giraffe in it the other day and it made me giggle.  It went something like this, Average douche bag asked his buddy, “Are you high?” to which the buddy replied ” I’m as high as a giraffe vagina” Ha. That joke rules! (Thank you Joe Rogan)

I would love a pet giraffe. How awesome would it be to take him for a walk or even better ride him to the bars at night for a cocktail? Chicks would be all over you for obvious reasons. Also, I doubt you could get pulled over for giraffing while intoxicated. Even if you did get pulled over, you could just sick your giraffe on the copper and have your giant buddy stomp the popo’s guts out all over the street. Never fuck with a giraffe. Never.

Side note: I wonder if anyone has ever gotten a giraffe drunk. I would love to see a giraffe trying to walk wasted. Hours of entertainment

While searching for reasons why giraffes rule I came across this giraffes rule video.

WARNING!  This video is pretty gay and annoying, but it made me feel good that others out there are really in to giraffes and think they rules as well. It’s nice to know I have something in common with this chick’s sister. I don’t feel so lonely anymore. I suggest turning the volume down if you choose to watch this silly giraffe video. The song in question made me want to donkey punch myself.

Giraffes rule!